Warning: This journal is rated R, for restricted audiences. It contains naughty language and adult situations. If you are under 18, do not read without the consent of an adult.
Vital as hell,
Tuesday, August 11, 1998: Production Day 17
Long, long day today. It was particularly tiring, as we had dozens of old people running around the set as extras. I hadn't seen so many elderly citizens since we dropped Grampy off at the rest home in Miami Beach. Sheesh. Needless to say, my plot of aggression had to step to the side while I juggled dentures and geritol pills all afternoon, which isn't necessarily a bad thing- going back over previous journal entries, I realize my grand chess metaphor sucks donkey dongs. I'll need something better to rally the troops from their incarcerated slumber, and as militaristic as chess may be, it certainly has limited appeal with the less cerebral components of my soon-to-be army. I am slowly beginning to realize the genius of great leaders past- Genghis Kahn, Napoleon, Al Capone, etc.- it takes a delicate balance of inspiration and intimidation to unite the people, and you must always start at the lowest common denominator. Note to self: never forget the common man, even in my quick ascent to the top of the food chain, for he holds the vitality of the streets, and that's some vital fucking vitality, brother. I did also learn something from an ancient extra by the name of Frederick today. He said to me, "Son, you can't just go around kicking people like that. If you want them to listen, you have to be nice..." The ol' fop might just have something there. I took his words to heart both on my walk with Squoopydoo (I let him eat as much feces as his little stomach could handle) and an end-of-the-day meeting with Jerry and Andrea, my preferred crony and an intern I think will be sympathetic to the cause, respectively. She's kind of cute, too, but still a far cry from the radiant Mrs. Keener, who I trust shall soon be Queen Rice, if you know what I am saying. Astute and faithful as you are, dear reader, I know you do. Anyway, I shared some of Garret's secret stash with them, serving not only to reel them in with my good will, but also to dull their cognitive senses that they be more easily manipulated and indoctrinated by my rising authority. Million dollar idea: human collars and leashes. Nothing too sexy, just to keep the workplace orderly and efficient.
